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| The wise men at the manger | Brian song | Sermon on the mount (Big nose) | Stone salesman | Stoning | Ex-leper | You mean you were raped? |
| Link | Revolutionairies in the amphitheatre | Romans go home | Link | What have the Romans ever done for us? | Link | Ben |
| Brian before Pilate (Thwow him to the floor) | Link | Prophets | Beard salesman | Link | Brian's prophecy | Link | The hermit | Link |
| He's a very naughty boy! | Link | Pilate sentences Brian | Nisus Wettus | Pilate with the crowd (Welease Woger) | Nisus Wettus with the jailers | Release Brian |
| Not so bad once you're up | Revs salute Brian | Cheeky is released | Mandy to her son | Look on the bright side of life | End of the film |
| Nisus Wettus | Jailor! How many have come through? |
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| Jailor 1 | Wha? | |
| Nisus | Er... How many have come through? | |
| Jailor 1 | Wha? | |
| Jailor 2 | Yyy...you'll have to sp..sp..speak up a bit, he's dddd... deaf as a ppp..post, sir. | |
| Nisus | How many have come through? | |
| Jailor 1 | Hehehehehe! | |
| Nisus | Oh dear. | |
| Jailor 2 | I make it ninety-ffff... Ninety-ffff... Ninety-six, sir. | |
| Nisus | Such a senseless waste of human lives, isn't it? | |
| Jailor 2 | No sir! Nnnn...not with these bbb...bastards! Cr..cr..crucifixion's too good for them! | |
| Nisus | You can't say it's too good for them, it's very nasty! | |
| Jailor 2 | Nnnn..not as na..nasty as something I just thought of, sir. |
| Pilate | Alwight, I'll give you one more chance! This time I want to hear no Weubens, no Weginalds, no Wudolph the Wednosed Weindeers... |
| Biggus Dickus | No Thpenther Trathieth! |
| Pilate | Or we shall welease no one! |
| Judith | Release Brian! |
| Man | Oh yeah, that's a good one! |
| Crowd | Welease Bwian! Welease Bwian! Hahahahaha! |
| Pilate | Vewy well, that's it! |
| Centurion | Sir, we have got a Brian, sir. |
| Pilate | We do? |
| Centurion | You just sent him for crucifixion, sir. |
| Pilate | Wait! We do have a Bwian! Well, go on, wepwieve him, stwaight away! |
| Centurion | Yes sir! |
| Pilate | Vewy well! I shall welease Bwian! |
| Cheeky | See, not so bad once you're up. You're being rescued then, are you? |
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| Brian | It's a... bit late for that now. | |
| Cheeky | No, we got a couple of days up here. Plenty of time! Lots of people get rescued. | |
| Brian | Ah? | |
| Cheeky | Oh yeah. My brother usually rescues me, if he can keep off the tail for more than twenty minutes. Randy little bugger, up and down like the Assyrian Empire. Heh. Hello? Your family arrived then? |
| Brian | Reg! | |
| Reg | Hello sibling Brian. | |
| Brian | Thank God you've come, Reg. | |
| Reg | I should point out first, in all fairness, that we are not in fact the rescue committee. However, I've been asked to read the following statement on behalf of the movement. We, the People's Front of Judea, brackets, officials, end brackets, do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, the occasion of your martyrdom. | |
| Brian | What?! | |
| Reg | Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuining struggle to liberate the parent land from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viniculture, and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes and hermaphrodites. Signed, on behalf of the PFJ, etcetera. And I would just like to add, on a personal note, my own admiration for what you're doing for us, Brian, in what must be after all for you a very difficult time. |
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| Brian | Reg! | |
| All | For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fe-ellow, and so say all of us. | |
| Stan | And so say all of... | |
| Brian | You bastards! |
| Centurion | Where is Brian of Nazareth?! |
| Brian | You sanctimonious bastards! |
| Centurion | I have an order for his release! |
| Brian | You stupid bastards! |
| Cheeky | Er, I'm Brian of Nazareth. |
| Brian | What?! |
| Cheeky | Yeah, I... I'm Brian of Nazareth. |
| Centurion | Take him down! |
| Brian | I'M Brian of Nazareth! |
| Victim 1 | Eh, I'm Brian! |
| Victim 2 | I'm Brian! |
| Victim 3 | Look, I'm Brian! |
| Brian | I'm Brian! |
| Victims | I'm Brian! |
| Victim 4 | I'm Brian, and so's my wife! |
| Victims | I'm Brian! I'm Brian!... |
| Brian | I'm Brian of Nazareth! |
| Centurion | All right. Take him away and release him. |
| Cheeky | No, I'm only joking. I'm not really Brian. No, I'm not Brian. I was only... It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! It's a joke! I'm not him! I'm just having you on! Put me back! Bloody Romans! Can't take a joke! |
| Mandy | I should have known it would end up like this! Just think of all the love and affection I've wasted on you! Is that how you treat your poor old mother, in the autumn years of her life. All I can say is, go ahead, be crucified! See if I care. |
| Brian | Mum! |
| Mandy | I might have known... Sex, sex, sex, is all these young people think about... I don't know what this world is coming to... |
Cheer up Brian! You know what they say:
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
If you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble
Give a whistle
And this'll
Help things turn out for the best
And
Always look on the bright side of life
[elaborate whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life
[elaborate whistle]
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle
That's the thing
And
Always look on the bright side of life
[elaborate whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life
[elaborate whistle]
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain
With a bow
Forget about your sins
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it
It's your last chance anyhow
So
Always look on the bright side of death
[elaborate whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath
[elaborate whistle]
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep them laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you
And
Always look on the bright side of life
[elaborate whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life
[elaborate whistle]
| Worse things happen at sea you know. |
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| I mean, what you got to lose? You come from nothing, you go back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing! | |
| Nothing will come from nothing. You know what they say? Cheer up, you old bugger. Come on. Give us a grin. There you are. See? It's the end of the film. Incidentally, this record's available in the foyer. | |
| Some of us have got to live as well, you know. Who do you think pays for all this rubbish? They'll never make their money back, you know. I told him. I said to him, 'Bernie.' I said, 'They'll never make their money back.' |
| Link man | [hums along] |
| Studio man | Thank you very much for coming along. |
| Link man | Mm? |
| Studio man | Thank you very much for coming along. I think the voice-over has helped the record enormously. |
| Link man | That's it, is it? I mean, that really is it? |
| Studio man | Er. Yes. Thanks. That's all we need, yes. |
| Link man | Ah. Okay. |
| Studio man | Er... |
| Link man | How about this song?... |
| Studio man | No. This song is a bit... I think. We have plenty of songs on the album anyway. Is er... |
| Link man | What? |
| Studio man | Thirty pounds er... alright? |
Back to my English home page...
Terug naar mijn Nederlandse home page...
PythOnline: The Official Monty Python Home page
The images originally used on this page came from Stefan Gmoser's
Monty Python's Flying Circus page.
Even though I've replaced them with my own screenshots, I'd still like to say Thank you!
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